Settling

Things are settling a little and my identity crisis seems to have passed. I never really felt that I didn't belong in school, but I am now actively feeling that I belong where I am. Classes are in full swing and one thing that I understand now is that I can either do everything and have no life, or do 75% and enjoy my sanity. I think this is the way it has to be- that I have to pick and choose where to put my energy and it's helpful to recognize the places where I can get by doing the minimal amount of work and where I really want to put my energy. That's the greatest thing about grad school, that I will get out of it whatever I put it, and I can choose what that is.

This week I am ahead of the game, reading for two classes done, one paper and two more classes of reading to do. I feel particularly balanced this week because I've spent a decent amount of time in the kitchen, making homemade ravioli and crackers. Yesterday I also made it out for a day trip to visit with friends and their small baby on their farm across the water. I think that especially made me feel more rooted in my real life and who I am outside of school. I spent the day talking about the other things that make up who I am, which I realized this morning was kind of a relief, after two weeks of talking about nothing but school.